Several mediation techniques are used while resolving conflicts between multiple parties. The job of a mediator is to manage heightened emotions that are faced during a conflict. Anger, frustration, exasperation, impatience, and fury are some universal emotions during arguments. A mediator’s job is to make sure that both parties arrive at a satisfactory conclusion of their negotiations while keeping hostilities at bay.

The emotions that arise during disagreements are not always a bad thing; the expression of feelings can clear bad air, help both parties understand each other, and move forward.

In this article, we have provided some useful tips and techniques for mediators to help them manage emotions in conflict:

Mediation and Mediator

Mediation is a practice in which two or more parties resolve their dispute in the presence of a trained professional for guidance, directions, and instructions. The primary purpose of mediation is to reach a settlement, a mutual agreement between the conflicting parties. The nature of issues may differ, including transactional, commercial, personal, community relations, divorces, child custody, etc.

A mediator is a person who facilitates this communication and makes the parties reach an agreement. The mediator is a trained professional who has knowledge, patience, and endurance. Following are some of the most common characteristics of a mediator:

  • Trustworthy
  • Ethical
  • Patient
  • Free from judgments
  • Logical
  • Empathetic

When Do People Reach Out To A Mediator?

People consult a mediator when they understand they cannot conclude on their own. Sometimes mediation is advised by the court while sometimes people decide to ask a mediator on their own. When people reach out to a mediator, they expect them to facilitate their communication and make them reach a conclusion. Most of the time, the mediator has to make communication easier and schedule appointments that would suit both the parties.

You need to be prepared for the hurdles and issues that may arise. A mediator needs to be ready for things to make the communication better, how to approach both the parties, and to get their stance, how to remain neutral, and not show any bias.

Mediation is a process that takes time. The time varies from case to case. Some cases might take months or years to finally resolve and reach towards an agreement while some are short-lived. The mediation process has various stages:

  • Basic introduction
  • Problem identification
  • Options and alternative actions
  • Clarity through communication
  • Agreement

With a few techniques and practices, the mediator can help both the parties express themselves fully to reach a mutually beneficial arrangement.

These techniques are:

1.     Creating A Safe Space for Communication

It is essential to provide a safe environment so that both parties feel comfortable opening up. Being a mediator, it is one of your primary responsibilities to provide a safe space for the parties. Moreover, it is also essential to respect the confidentiality or anonymity of the person and should be welcomed and catered. The presence of a neutral party can help the involved people express themselves freely and confidently. When you can provide these parties with a space that is entirely free of any influence or bias, they can freely give their point of view and express themselves fully.

  • A space that is comfortable for both the parties
  • No threat while sharing feelings
  • Understanding emotions
  • Respecting parties’ reservations and cater them accordingly

 

2.   Let Things Unfold Themselves

While trying to solve a conflict, let people express themselves and talk it out. Sometimes, all it requires from you is to sit back and see where things go as both the parties are communicating. You can remove the hurdles or barriers that come between the communication, but intervening less can actually help both the parties express themselves fully.

 

  • Do not intervene unless an extreme situation
  • Expression of emotions can lead to constructive results
  • Fight and anger can help reach a conclusion
  • Negative emotions are also necessary
  • Communication without barriers is a positive practice

 

3.   Take Control of The Situation

After you have let both the parties express their emotions fully, there is a chance they will get frustrated, and the conversation can go unruly and wild. This is where you need to handle the situation and ask the parties if this conversation is constructive or destructive. You can always make the parties realize that their conversation should yield a productive result, and there is a limit to express anger towards each other. This situation is very common during divorce proceedings or custody settlements; however, they are also present in the workplace as well. The HR manager of a carpet cleaning business in the UK explained to us that when employees are engaged in conflicts of a personal nature, it can get ugly. Therefore, a manager must be equipped to interject and control the things being said to arrive at a mutually beneficial decision.

 

  • Patience and rational is important
  • Only intervene when things are becoming destructive or headless
  • Give direction in a way that both parties agree upon
  • Avoid personal opinion
  • Summarize the conversation
  • Try to bring back the attention towards the main problem

 

4.   Validate Emotions

Validating emotions and treating them as an opportunity to improve the matter is also a technique that mediators follow. Hear out the parties and let them know that these emotions are validated; they have a right to feel what they are feeling. Negative emotions can also lead to effective results and a mutual consensus. Encouraging feelings and providing an open attitude towards emotional projection can yield healthier results.

  • Understand and empathize with the situation
  • Express that it is difficult for both the parties
  • Encourage and confront feelings and emotions
  • Try to be supportive

Conclusion

The mediation process can be made easier when it comes to managing emotions through the techniques discussed in this article. It is human nature to express emotions and let feelings decide their course of action, which is why a mediator must know how to handle such emotions and make it easier for the clients to open up constructively.

Online and offline means are both suitable for mediation since the channel does not affect the ultimate goal of mediation. In fact, online mediation is preferable as it can connect expert mediators to clients irrespective of their geographical location.