Men and women both sometimes go to ridiculous lengths to woo potential partners. But well-meant isn’t always well-done, as overinflated lips and guys posing in front of rented Lamborghinis show.
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I know what it’s like. I tried to be the “alpha” guy for years until I realized the very behaviors I thought made me attractive turned me into the sexual equivalent of stale goulash soup. But men aren’t the only ones selling themselves out.
Both sexes do stupid things to be more attractive, but as a man who’s spent a few years of his life dating women, I’ve experienced a whole bag of misguided female behaviors.
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This doesn’t mean there’s a one-size-fits-all approach to attraction. Dating coaches would be out of business pretty quickly. This also doesn’t mean women only do these things for men. But sometimes, the social pressure from misguided standards gets too big.
As much as you’d like to think of yourself as completely independent, we all adjust our actions if we think it gets us closer to our goals. Unfortunately, sometimes the opposite is the case.
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This is the social equivalent to diving headfirst into a toilet bowl. It’s doesn’t feel good pretending to be someone you aren’t — and even if you succeed, you’ll still get shitty results.
Here’s a list of seven behaviors women mistakenly believe make them attractive — and you need to shed if you want genuine, grown men attracted to you.

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Not Showing Interest and Playing Hard to Get (It Attracts the Wrong Kind of Guys)
This is the oldest myth in the book. Women are supposed to act disinterested because men like “the hunt.”
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I’m a man. I know lots of men. I talk to lots of men. All these men, again, know and talk to lots of men. Yet, I haven’t met a single guy who told me: “Man, I wish it was harder to get women attracted to you.”
Here’s what happens when you act aloof on purpose.
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You get a bunch of needy guys chasing you or a few self-proclaimed womanizers who are just in it for the sport. The needy ones don’t have options and eagerly await your attention. The Casanovas usually drop you like a hot potato once they got what they wanted. If you’re looking for a genuine, grown-ass man, you’re digging yourself a hole.
High-value men have options. If you cold-shoulder them, other women greet them with warmth and interest.
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Back when I was inexperienced and sucked at dating, I was intrigued by women who brushed me off. Every time I got ghosted, I was trying to fix my broken ego and prove to myself I could “get them.” I was needy for validation, but the second I got it, I lost interest.
When my life improved, women became secondary. I couldn’t care less about chasing them, especially if they weren’t interested. Their loss. But the ones who showed genuine interest were the ones who intrigued me.
This doesn’t mean you should drop everything whenever Mr. Charming calls. Don’t be needy. Don’t be cold-hearted and unapproachable either. Do what feels natural, without selling yourself out or playing hard to get.
Worrying Too Much About Appearance

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Men are incredibly visual, especially when it comes to dating.
What emotions and social cues are to women, looks are to men. Yet, they aren’t the only thing we care about — and neither should you.
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I once had a female friend tell me “women are probably afraid of wearing sweatpants and no make-up around you.” I was shocked since this couldn’t be further from the truth. I haven’t seen my girlfriend with make-up in over two weeks and she’s still the most beautiful woman I know. Yet, I understand how my friend got the idea.
Women’s looks are what men talk about most. They’re what society cares about most, especially in the days of Instagram, photoshop, and high-definition TVs. I don’t like this reduction to appearance one bit. It doesn’t reflect reality.