Warren was always quiet and reserved. He felt that his looks and status, and not having a lot of money, made him unattractive to women. Those he found fascinating were out of his league and he didn’t even bother approaching them. Even though he doesn’t make a lot of money, Warren is a great chef who loves creating delicious dishes, and feels that he’s building a career. With increasing pressure from friends and family, he started realising that he was getting lonelier as he got older – he hadn’t had a steady girlfriend in years. Fed up with constant dating failures, Warren decided to approach Kama Lifestyles for help with his dating life.
Social skills can be learned, and Warren’s first lesson was in building his confidence to become a charismatic leader in his own life. Someone with charisma:
- Is confident;
- Is a leader;
- Knows how to make those around him feel special;
- Lets people around him have a great time;
- Bonds with people easily;
- Is comfortable being the centre of attention;
- Shows his true value clearly and effortlessly;
- Is a good speaker and fascinates people with his storytelling;
- Is ambitious and determined; and
- Inspires others.
Learning how to change his attitude and behaviour was hard work, but he resolved to make the changes needed to grow. The most important parts of his training involved building his self-esteem and feelings of self-worth, and practicing his new skills. His dating coach helped him to set realistic life and dating goals, taught him how to be objective about failure, and how to use failure to learn. His training included learning how to be a good storyteller, how to create attraction and intimacy, and how to deal with the fear of rejection.
Warren’s training plan included:
- Identifying and challenging negative thoughts to get the right positive attitude and outlook. His love of his job and enthusiasm for food was catching – all he had to learn was how to show it off.
- Learning how to be happy and fun to be around. No one wants to spend time with a negative person. Warren has always been a lot of fun to be around, with a wicked sense of humour. Having confidence taught him how to open up to others, allowing them to see this part of him.
- Learning how to deal with negative emotions and awkward social situations. A man with charisma does not shy away from potentially uncomfortable situations. While no one likes to be in a situation where they’re not at easy, how you deal with those situations reflects your character and confidence.
- Polishing his presentation. Warren never paid much attention to how he looked. Grooming and fashion, coupled with body language, tell people how we view ourselves and what value we can bring to their lives. The Kama Lifestyles fashion coach showed him how to update his wardrobe and accessories, and how to style his hair. His coach showed him how body language tells a story before he opens his mouth, teaching him how to control his non verbal communication.
The new Warren, overflowing with charisma, is a more patient, smoother and cooler version of himself. He no longer sees anyone as out of his league. Although he’ll be the first to admit that he’s still practicing, his skills have improved so dramatically that his friends were amazed at the positive changes they see in him. Last week he struck up a conversation with a customer who complimented him on his cooking. She’s beautiful, articulate, and the type of women he’d take home to meet his mother. They went out for coffee the next day and have arranged to meet again on Saturday night.