So first of all, how did you get into this whole business of meeting and picking up women?
Like most guys who you meet in this community, I was a fairly nerdy kid at school. When I was younger I was pretty cool (like, 9yr old me was totally the coolest kid in the street, for sure). But when I hit puberty, it all just went to crap. I had pretty bad acne; I went to an all boys school; I painted Warhammer models, etc, etc. Essentially I was about as unattractive as you could be. And I knew it – my self-confidence took a battering.
To avoid humiliation, I pretty much tried to forget that girls even existed. But when I was about 17 there was this one girl, let’s call her Sophia (that wasn’t her real name at all, her real name was much more boring than that).
Sophia came to my 6th form (school ages 16-18 in the uk), we were in a few classes together and we really hit it off. She was a bit geeky, which I found cute. Anyway, to cut a long and unduly boring story short, I developed a huge crush on this Sophia girl. I secretly obsessed over her, wrote her poems that I never had the guts to show her, and all the usual classic one-itis kind of stuff.
One day, I summoned up the courage and I told her how I felt. I’ll never forget it. She looked at me with these puppy-dog eyes and said, “Aw Dave, you’re just not my type.”
Boom. I was gutted. It was like someone had poured liquid lead into my lungs. I was crushed.
So that night I got on this new fangled thing called ‘Google’ and typed in something like, ‘how to get a girl’.
And the rest, as they say… is still happening.
So yeah, it was basically all over a girl. But if it hadn’t have been her, it would have been some other girl later on. I was basically ripe to find this stuff. As the saying goes, when the student is ready, the master will appear.
What was one thing that really took your game to the next level? Did it take long?
Great question. I’ll never forget my first approach. That was huge. It shatters your reality when you’ve been learning all this theory stuff, and then to actually take it into the real world, apply it, and for it to ‘work’ as advertised, and you don’t go down in flames, that was an incredible feeling. A huge breakthrough is your first approach.
I’ll tell you something else that really took my ‘game’ to the next level (I don’t really think in terms of ‘game’, as you’ll see)…
It’s something I did with my best buddy Preston. You may have seen some of his stuff on our Social Masters blog. Anyway, every day, and I mean *every* day for 30 days, without fail – rain or shine, we went out into the city where we live, and we did something more ballsy than the day before.
We worked it all out beforehand. Came up with these crazy things we were going to do that got progressively further outside of our comfort zones each day. We started with going up to women and asking the time, and then the next day we made it harder by wearing a huge watch and asking the time.
It’s funny how stuff like this just shatters all your limiting beliefs. You think all these things like, “She’s gonna tell me I’m stupid cos I already have a watch on.” and “People are going to be rude to me.”, etc. But guess what? It’s never as bad as you imagine.
I think that day one woman said to me, “You’ve got a watch on.” and instead of being apologetic, I turned it into something funny by saying something like, “Oh yeah, these things are usually pretty good for stuff like that.” She laughed, it was all off the cuff.
By the end of the thirty days, we were doing the most crazy shit you could imagine. The ultimate challenge of your comfort zone of course, is walking up to a woman and saying straight off the bat, “You’re hot. Let’s go back to my place right now.” In broad daylight in the middle of a shopping centre.
Needless to say, by the end of those thirty days, we had developed balls of steel. That’s how heroes are made. Out on the streets, not sat in front of a computer screen (although I’ve done more than my fair-share of that too.)
What are the fundamentals of tight game? And how long does it take to get good?
Fundamentals. That’s a word I love. I think if you get certain fundamentals down, the rest kind-of just seems to take care of itself.
I’m a big believer in being genuine. I’m one of those guys that will say what I’m thinking, and fuck the consequences. Some guys like to manipulate women to get what they want. I’m not one of them. So yeah, being genuine is one key fundamental. Just saying stuff that nobody else has the balls to say. Be the one to take the piss out of the hottest, highest-status woman in your entire office. Comes back to the ‘brass balls’ concept really; having the confidence to say what you’re thinking.
Also, dominance. That is huge. If you aren’t dominant, you’re gonna struggle like mad. You can be as cool as you like, telling funny stories, doing cool little party-pieces, but if you don’t have the ability to strongly lead a woman, both verbally and physically, then you are fighting a losing battle.
If I go into a club, and I am genuine – I just let it all hang out, and let loose. And I am dominant – I physically lead girls on the dancefloor; I say stuff like, “Come here…. do this… do that…” – this gets me more attraction and interest from women in a shorter time than any amount of storytelling, routines or fancy language patterns or whatever.
I still use storytelling and ‘smooth talk’ as I call it, don’t get me wrong. Thing is, I’m one lazy dude, so if I can get away with not bothering, then I’ll gravitate towards that. What others see as laziness, I see as efficiency.
What is your life like now with women?
Up to the age of about 21, my ‘life with women’ totally sucked. Now, it is pretty cool. I have an awesome girlfriend who is open to many new experiences and cool things. This whole ‘dealing with women’ issue just isn’t a problem for me anymore. I can go into a club and get a girl. I can approach a girl on the street and get her phone number. I can make a woman fifteen years older than me swoon. I know how to deal with prissy 18 years olds in a way that is fun and effective. It’s cool; I’ve come a long way from being a spotty teenager who always placed last on girls’ ‘who is the cutest?’ lists.
What are some of the building blocks of your teachings?
I like to teach concepts and frameworks. Rather than just giving you lines, I like to give you the fundamentals behind why a certain thing gets a certain response from women. This does two things: 1. It gives you a deep understanding of the dynamics in play in all human interactions, and especially those involving men and women. and 2. It enables you to come up with a limitless amount of ‘material’ on the fly. Never run out of things to say, never be lost for what to say next, or what to do.
What people have been the most influential for you in the process of becoming a pick up guru?
I was there from the inception of the community (I was still pretty young at that time). Ross Jeffries was the first major character I came across, but I found most of what he taught to be ineffective (bar pattern language and the NLP side of things). It was also majorly incomplete.
Later on, I discovered Dave DeAngelo, and that was like the epiphany moment for me. This guy was on my wavelength. Approaching things more like a scientist, and applying all these cool theories from diverse areas like psychology and evolutionary biology to interacting with women.
I also learned a huge amount from two relatively obscure guys in the community: Hypnotica and Toecutter. I think, moreso than any other guys, I found them to be most similar to me on a fundamental level – Dave D is just too much of a geek; I’m way cooler than he could ever dream of being
Seriously though, I think that’s an important point – find someone to learn from that you really resonate with. It’s almost like that father figure we all wish we had. The one that teaches us how to be awesome with women. If they have the same values as you, you’re going to get a lot more mileage out of what they have to say.
What is the biggest sticking point that you feel is holding guys back from reaching their potential in this arena?
Not taking enough action.
It’s hard. To get out of your house; to walk around and not feel anxiety; to go up to a random girl and start a conversation. All these things aren’t ‘easy’. But they are the only way to improve. I often compare learning to meet and attract women to learning to drive a car. You can read as many books as you want, watch as many videos of amazing drivers as you want, but it’s only when you get behind the wheel yourself and start to actually physically *drive* in the real world, that you start to learn, start to master the skill.
In terms of inner game, what kind of mindset do you go out with to the bars and clubs that really enables you to pick up women?
It’s a combination of many things really. And there are a few different ‘mixes’ of attitudes that can work in different scenarios.
The key is, above all else, to have fun. Be a source of fun and value for others. In that kind of situation, you want to be the guy that, through your actions, everyone you come into contact with has a great night. Encourage people to dance. Suggest where to go, what to do if you’re in a group. Talk to people at the urinal. Be proactively warm and sociable.
Don’t be afraid to try something with women in a club. You would be shocked by some of the stuff I do when I’m out: I pinch girls’ nipples; twang their bra straps; bend them over doggy-style in front of me; pull them in close; push them away; spin them round; put their hands under my shirt and make a ‘groping’ motion (that works like nothing else I’ve ever seen by the way – in that environment of course). And guess what? I’ve never been slapped, or had a drink thrown in my face. Like I said, you always imagine the worst happening, but it almost never does!
Do you have a favorite opening line to meet women?
“I’m three inches… FROM THE GROUND.”
Not really. I don’t have a favourite line per-se. I get bored easily, so I try and do new stuff all the time.
I kind-of have a favourite ‘framework’ for a good opening line though, so I’ll share that…
I get a particular satisfaction from telling women off (they love it too by the way – try it). So for example, I was sat on this sofa in a club this one time and a girl sits down next to me. I looked at her with feigned disapproval and said, “You can’t sit there…” whilst shaking my head. Of course, she immediately laughed, and it set things right off on that flirtatious, sexual tension kind of path.
If you were to hop into a frustrated, women-less, guys life, what would be the first few things you would change?
- Stop being so damn nice to everyone. Especially women.
- Start going after the things you want in life, and stop giving a fuck what others think.
- Reinvent who you are. Move out. Get new friends. Get some cool new clothes. Get a cool haircut. Get down the gym. Start taking responsibility for becoming this awesome bloke that women are gonna love. Realise that who you are living as is not the genuine you. You’ve been sold a bill of goods by women’s mags and female talk shows. Women don’t know what they really want. Stop listening to what they say, and start doing what they respond to.
What can a guy expect when he signs up for one of your workshops?
I change paradigms – how guys look at the world. You’ll be pushed outside your comfort zone in a way that is incredibly exhilarating and rewarding like nothing else I have found. It’s like closing that big sale, scoring that goal, winning that race – only hundreds of times over and over.
Having women react in a very strong positive way to you is one of the most addictive things on the planet. That’s what I show guys how to do.
Could you give us a quick example of a success story or improvement that you’ve seen in a students’?
Preston, who I mentioned earlier. If you thought I sounded bad, my life was a picnic compared to what he was like when I met him. Preston is a good looking kid (girls rate him as much better looking than me), so there’s your benchmark. And yet he had *zero* success with women. I mean literally nothing.
First of all, he looked like crap. He had a boring haircut, and terrible glasses. He also looked like his Mum had dressed him that morning (hell, knowing Preston, she probably had) – and this was a 21 year old man we are talking about here.
He also had some tremendous inner-game issues. He was just recovering from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) that had pretty much wrecked his life for the last several years. His confidence in himself was at rock bottom. He thought he was ugly. He saw no point to his existence. He was truly lost, and he was angry. He saw all his problems as external. Oh yeah, he was also a virgin.
Then he met me, and a week later he had 17 pornstars bouncing up and down on his bed. Yeah, not really. The point is, I worked with him, and within a very short time (a matter of months) he totally turned his life around.
He sorted out all the external stuff like the hair and the clothes, so at least he didn’t look like a retard anymore. And then we set about smashing all his limiting beliefs and getting him out into the real world and building the skills. I mean, he had hardly ever used the phone when I met him, so I made him call girls up and talk to them. I made him do stuff that made him feel so afraid, he was nearly physically sick. I took him out of his comfort zone.
Goddamn it, we made a man of him
And now, he’ll tell you, he’s a completely changed man. Girls swoon over him (the good-looking bastard, did I mention he taller than me too? No, well he is. The cock.). He has an amazing girlfriend and if you asked him, he’d tell you that the whole ‘meeting women’ thing is now his bread and butter. He has his veritable pick of the bunch when it comes to the females. You can read more about his story (and mine) on our Social Masters blog, at the link below
And how can we reach you?
If you like the sound of what I’m banging on about, go read the following
What To Do If You Don’t Know What To Say!
Mature Dating Game Is Superior Game
Appreciating Mature women As Individuals
