Do you feel as though you are being manipulated by the person you are in a relationship with when someone doesn’t trust you for no reason at all? Sometimes we believe that the person we are in a relationship with will see right through our intentions to manipulate us. This is especially true if they have done it in the past or even if it is happening now. How do you get around this? How can you learn to trust someone again when they don’t trust you for no reason at all?
The first step is to understand why you are not trust worthy. Figure out what it is that makes you less trustworthy. People who make this mistake often do so early in their relationship. They rely on their partner to trust them instead of working on their own to improve themselves. It takes work to improve yourself, but your partner needs to recognize your progress and help encourage you to move forward.
Look for the warning signs when your partner isn’t ready to let go of the way they have treated you. Are they continually trying to convince you to change back? Does this person seem to have an ego that can only be surpassed by your own? If your relationship has come to this point, you need to make a hard decision. It’s time to walk away, but if you continue to remain in the relationship and ignore the warnings, it will only make them more confident.
One of the biggest reasons why people aren’t able to gain trust in their relationships is because their partners constantly put them down. It is easy to do this when you have many mutual friends, because you can just ask them about their own experiences with that person. However, if your partner continues to belittle you and tell you how great you are and how much they wish they had you when things started going wrong, then they are not interested in building a lasting relationship.
It’s important to get to the root of the problem.
Many times it’s easy to point the finger of blame at another person and say, “You never listen to me, you never treat me right, and you never do this.” While it’s true that you may be guilty of these faults in the past, it’s time to stop blaming everyone else and take personal responsibility for your own actions. If you want to rebuild trust in your relationship, you have to make yourself accountable for everything that happens. Make sure you have a plan in place to fix things so they will improve.
A big sign when someone doesn’t trust you for no reason at all is when they avoid you as much as possible. You may be tempted to call back that person or offer to meet them for coffee or dinner, but they’re usually busy. When someone doesn’t trust you for no reason at all, it’s because they are avoiding you. If they show up to your office and immediately begin talking to you about something personal, then you should feel comfortable meeting them. Just don’t sit around waiting for them to call. This could indicate that they are holding information back from you, which can cause you to make an even bigger mistake.
Another indicator when someone doesn’t trust you for no reason at all is when they put you on their “approved people list”. Everyone has some kind of approval list that contains people they deem worthy of having as friends. When you invite someone into your life, they fill out the form indicating what they will do and say when they show up. If someone doesn’t feel you trust them enough to give you their number or they avoid showing up altogether after you’ve invited them to lunch, it’s because they don’t trust you. Don’t allow this to continue when the person doesn’t feel comfortable with you. It will only cause a strain in your relationship if you continue to do it, so take a step back and ask them why they aren’t showing up and whether you can meet them where they want to.
When you have someone who doesn’t trust you for some reason, the worst thing you can do is ignore them. They could show up one day, fill out that form indicating that they don’t like you, and then disappear for the rest of the week. If this happens often, it means that they are holding information back from you need to get that information quickly. When you’re not actively seeking out new friends, you won’t have to go through this process and will therefore have much more peace of mind about who you’re actually dealing with.
