Divorce is capable of draining multiple aspects of an individual’s life. Apart from losing the person who was the center of your world, you might be facing financial setbacks, and perhaps struggling with matters of child custody. Things could be a lot less rough if kids were not in the picture, but it still feels like you lost half of you. If your ex was also your best friend and you didn’t want this divorce, it is natural to feel hopeless and devastated. It may seem like you ran out of luck and this is the end of your story, but keep reminding yourself that the pain is temporary. Every dark night is followed by a bright new day, and nothing is meant to last forever. Divorce mediators in California reveal six simple rules to stay sane during this difficult phase:

Allow Yourself to Grieve

You will get back to normal when you can. Everyone grieves in their own way, so you cannot fix a time or date for self-restoration. There is no correlation between the length or your relationship, and how much time it will take to get over it. Weeks, months, or years, take what you need. Don’t put on a brave face and jump into the dating pool when you are clearly pining for your ex. You will simply torture yourself and waste the time of someone who is not interested in listening to your sob stories, or being compared to your ex. Admit that you are not okay and allow yourself to act irrational among close friends and family.

Let it out

Legend says that women are able to get over breakups faster than men. I can’t say this is true, however women do tend to be more expressive. Talking about your divorce with someone and unleashing bottled up emotions is a great way to take off the pressure. Reach out to loved ones who are there to lend you an ear and their shoulder. You will feel lighthearted and peaceful once you emit everything that eats you on the inside. If you are not comfortable confessing out loud, write a journal as an alternative form of catharsis. You can also speak to a professional or join a support group if that sounds helpful. Psychologists are trained to help individuals with mental healing; also, one feels comfortable when surrounded by individuals facing similar hardships as themselves.

Dump Souvenirs of your Failed Relationship

Photos of your ex, their leftover possessions, and all the gifts they ever gave you have to go away. As you get rid of memoirs of your past relationship, it shall become easier to move on. The idiom ’out of sight, out of mind’ works wonders. In order to make room for new memories, you will have to erase the old ones.

Rediscover Yourself

Many of us are consumed by our relationships. ‘I’ becomes ‘we’ and when the relationship ends, ‘I’ is nowhere to be found. Some people forget about their own dreams and desires because they are so accustomed to being dictated by their ex. You initially feel helpless when there’s no one controlling you, but you shall gradually embrace the true meaning of freedom. You can finally spread your wings and be your true self.

Find Happiness in the Little Things

If you cannot cheer yourself up, how can you expect others to do it for you? Do not let any relationship define you and celebrate your independence instead. Be thankful for what you have; sometimes the little things are what matter the most.

Pursue Self Improvement

Many people seem to have several extra hours to kill when they are newly single. Utilize this time to improve yourself for a better future. If your current job is unsatisfying, explore alternate career options. If you feel fat, join a fitness club. If your wardrobe looks outdated, treat yourself to a shopping spree. Change your hair, renovate your home, learn a new skill, start eating healthy, or do whatever that makes you feel good about yourself.