I Left My Career in Prestige Media Because of the Shitty Men in Charge and

Achieving the same level of success as my male counterparts was an uphill slog every day but I was willing to cope with all of it in order to keep my job, a job I loved and had worked decades to achieve. I adapted. I walked the tightrope.

But it all came crashing down when my boss violated journalistic ethics then abused the staff and undermined the editorial process. It became so bad we were in jeopardy of missing our press date. I used everything in my arsenal to adapt. I protected the staff from his rage. I worked behind the scenes to get our press schedule shored up. Still, his behavior was so disruptive we couldn’t get the work done. After consulting with two of my senior level colleagues, I decided to go to management for help. I reported my boss’s behavior to HR and to the president of the publication on three separate occasions and each time I was assured his behavior was known and unacceptable and that they were working behind the scenes to address it and that my boss would face consequences, including being fired, if he did not stop.

He didn’t stop. But he did get way sneakier about it. Most of his abuse was focused on a specific editor. It was horrendous to witness. The editor was a veteran of the publication, and was beloved by the staff. He was also uniquely vulnerable (he published a book about his anxiety) and my boss was maliciously cruel towards him. It began taking a toll on the editor’s health.

After I reported my boss and was told action was being taken behind the scenes, my boss changed his tactics. Instead of overtly lashing out at the editor, he’d do so in ways that were much more difficult to detect. For example, he’d make a big show of inviting people into his office for drinks, but would deliberately leave the editor off the invitation. If they were in the same room for drinks (there was a big drinking culture) he’d clink glasses with everyone except that editor. He’d ignore and refuse to acknowledge him during meetings. If he saw the editor coming his way, he’d turn the corner to avoid him. The editor offered, in writing, to resign and my boss refused to acknowledge it. I reported this all to the president of the company and to HR and was again assured they were handling it behind the scenes.

Then, in a shocking turn of events, the president quit to take another job and it became immediately obvious my boss was next in line to take his place.

I knew I was screwed.

The next time my boss lashed out at me — he went ballistic over a piece he was supposed to have recused himself from — lashing out at me in front of multiple people. He was screaming at me, saying I was “doing it to him” again. I told him his behavior was unacceptable and immediately went to HR to report it. I was told they were handling it and the head of HR offered for me to get in touch with her, even on the weekend, if I needed help.

During our next meeting, my boss threatened me privately in his office. He chastened me on my “tone”. He peered over his glasses and told me to “be very careful” and that he was “in this for the long game.” I later described him as looking like a cartoon villain. I immediately left his office and reported the threat to HR but this time I got a very different reaction. All along I had been assured by HR and the president that my boss’s behavior was unacceptable and was being handled behind the scenes and would result in him being fired if he didn’t stop but this time the head of HR told me that my boss had expressed remorse about the situation and was embarrassed by his behavior.

It was clear I wasn’t going to get any support from the company. My boss was going to get promoted and have even more power. After months of keeping the train on track while dealing with the consequences of my boss’s abuse, I was left twisting in the wind.

I knew that unless I got back into my boss’s good graces not only would I lose this job, it was unlikely I could get hired anywhere else in media. My boss was the president of ASME. He held enormous power in the publishing industry.

I wrote him an email saying that I’d support him in his role as president of our publication, and that I knew he would advocate for the magazine. My hope was that his promotion would take him out of the day to day operations of the magazine and that in time things would settle down.

Just to underscore that point, I found myself in a position of having to recommend my abusive boss for a promotion at the height of his abuse after having followed the chain of command available to me to report his abuse and being left in the cold.

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I Left My Career in Prestige Media Because of the Shitty Men in Charge and

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