What is human beauty? Have we always been guided by the same canons? Why, in general terms, is it difficult for us to know how to age? Why do beautiful people open more doors? Why does a baby who is pretty receive more attention than one who is not so pretty? dating.com scam Why are so many people not comfortable with their bodies? Why are eating disorders affecting more and more people?

Have we stopped to think about what makes us programmed to not approve of our physical appearance? Yes, surely advertising is the main responsible, for the fact of offering us what we want to consume. But of course, advertising pursues, in economic terms, precisely this: to show what people want to see… Seen like this, it seems that we are in a kind of vicious circle from which we cannot get out… But, once more, the answer is overloaded and undervalued education. We must educate our children and re-educate the elderly so that we have a critical vision of all the audiovisual material we consume and, little by little, broaden the narrow vision that we often have of what human beauty is.

Dating.com Review - The Dictatorship of Beauty and "Feeling"

Human beauty must go beyond measurements, features, height and weight, an age range, the color of skin, hair or eyes… Beauty is and must be seen as a whole. Because physical beauty is ephemeral but beauty in capital letters, the one that values ​​the person as a whole, not only does not disappear but can grow over time. Experience makes us wiser and wisdom is also beauty. And there is no stronger connection than the one that is based on elements that are not perishable, aspects that are not seen with the naked eye and that make up everything that a person really is.

We often make the mistake of reducing the “feeling” to merely physical beauty and, automatically, we approach people who may either reject us or may have little to offer us and may even not awaken this affective-sexual connection in us. of unknown formula. In the same way, they distance us from people with whom we could establish a much deeper connection, just because some physical element does not fit our expectations, often based on social prejudices: men should be taller than women, women It must be younger, the man must be strong, the woman feminine, some extra kilo is not welcome, the bald better not… 

So, how can we escape from this dictatorship of beauty and open up to connect with the real beauty of people, which is often what is not seen with the naked eye? We have tried to summarize it like this: 

1) Accept and love ourselves for who we are as a whole , outside and inside. Highlight what we like about ourselves and relativize what we don’t like so much. This point is not at odds with taking care of ourselves to feel better about ourselves, obviously.

2) Review what we understand by beauty . Pretty eyes do not always have to be big, they can be small and expressive; sensual lips do not always have to be full, they can be small and sweet; attractive hands don’t always have to be big and slim, they can be small and soft… 

3) Be realistic and lower expectations . The model or the model of the advertising poster is not an option. Pretending that wrinkles do not appear after a certain age, systematically rejecting gray hair and baldness, either… Let’s not confuse this lowering of expectations with being with someone we don’t find attractive. It has to do with finding someone attractive because we have opened up to discovering them as a whole and regardless of the prejudices we may have. 

4) Value people based on how we feel about them. The connection or feeling rarely appears at first sight. We must approach each other, smell each other, touch each other, feel each other…

5) Dedicate time and effort to establish the link. Every relationship requires the formation of a bond and this is not created immediately or without dedication. This “effort” has nothing to do with forcing oneself, but with opening oneself up to the other. It has to do with giving the best of oneself, with listening, being interested in the other person, sharing… And all this means opening up to communicate, an essential part of human relationships that we are sacrificing today based on WhatsApp and emoticons. … But this would be another topic …